Destiny's Treasures Online

so my fam got a mobile/motor home for my dear mother who works too many hours too many days in a row. the intentions were fully and completely to protect her, giving her a place to sleep at night when she's bone tired after work without having to drive an hour back home only to return the next day and work more hours. the added bonus is that she gets to bring along family members for her sanity.

however, there's been nothing but nerve grinding and tortured anxieties since we got the dumb thing. first off, the thermostat was broken and needed replacing. yet, we didn't know this until after mother and i had spent a cold night in the thing. so we got that fixed. now, something is up with the battery/electrical system. it completely shut down/shorted out today when mother and i took it to work with the plans of staying til monday, when we would come home (since she works four days straight, nearly all 14 hours). however, while i was reading in the home, an alarm went off, so i shut everything down b/c it was the carbon monoxide alarm, and went into the back room of the urgent care clinic where she works and i am welcome. we go back to the home together with the intent of sleeping in it, only to find the chaotic problem. to make it worse, the leveling jacks (which are automatic when the engine is turned over) weren't functioning, so we were stranded until we got them working again.

i guess the short story is that my anxieties are up, and i'm getting upset as well as mother. at first, i was the one to keep calm and not let things get to me...........if ya know what i'm saying.

and that's not the half of the problems this beast has caused.

more depressing, the house that i call home feels like it's falling appart from the inside, and it's really hard on me. i'm the type of person who feels that the cleanliness of a person's home reflects on them. and being disabled, i can't keep it as clean as i would like it to me. my sisters don't want to/refuse to step up to the plate and take on more responsibility.

i feel bad about having to take it easy. there is so much going on physically and mentally with the disease that i suffer from, and the constant weight of the demands that i feel doesn't make it any easier to deal with. i feel the pressure from both my parents to take on more, yet there are demands that my body just can not meet. i feel that no one short of another sufferer could ever understand. quite often i am found arguing with my sisters the validity of my suffering, only to lose the battle and suffer even more.

it hurts in more ways than one.

i would like to have a 'regular job' and a 'regular life' where i can earn that evil stuff that makes the world go round anymore and have nice things and not have to deal with worn out appliances 'n' such. but i can't. and every day i want to cry out to the universe how unfair it seems to me and my family that we've been hit with this double-whammy.....which may turn into a triple-whammy.

i've applied for social security disability insurance only to be denied over and over. i've applied for a hearing, and i most likely won't get a response for that for another 12 to 15 mos.

i'm driven to do what i can, at my own pace, which is knitting and crocheting wares to sell. i'm constantly told to sell my works because 'they're that awesome'. there are just no buyers!

i would cry......except...i have no more tears.
if you feel it in your heart to help, here are some things you can do.

• Donate using PayPal. There are a few direct links throughout my website.
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• Check out my auctions on Wensy.com under the user name Seaweed917.
• Spread the word about my website and its wares. Word of mouth can oft be better than all the internet advertising in the world.